I'm gonna have a badass scar
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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