isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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