I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
