I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
