I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
