Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
