I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
