Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
40s are totally the cure
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
