Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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