did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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