I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
