so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
