Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
