everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
