weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I want to be your penis for a week.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
