I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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