Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
