The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
