Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
