Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
