I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
