And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
