U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
