Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
