I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
dude. I can hear the air.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
