how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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