im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
