just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
