idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Randomize
