I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
