We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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