My friends, they love my intelligence
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
