nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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