afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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