One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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