Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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