oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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