How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
