can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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