did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
