It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
