you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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