I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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