i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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