On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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