it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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