My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We were destined to go to rehab together
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
