Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
