They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
