She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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